Another crisis. This time, Bonar’s business went bankrupt and his household’s finances were in a mess. When he and Clara just graduated from college, a similar incident had occurred, but apparently this friend of hers never learned from the experience. Clara can’t stop thinking how Bonar just doesn’t realize his fault in the various “disasters” that have repeatedly hit him. That afternoon, Bonar confided in and asked Clara to pray for him because he believed he was going through life trials as a result of being mistreated by some bad people. Bonar was far beyond hopeless; he had no savings, while his and his daughter’s lives must go on, and he is a single father after his wife had died giving birth to their daughter. Clara? At the same time, Clara was clueless. Her income was only enough for her own life, setting aside a small portion to save for her future.
又是危机。 这一次，Bonar 的生意破产了，家里的经济也陷入了混乱。 在他新世代刚大学毕业的时候，也发生过类似的事情，但是这位朋友显然从来没有吸取过经验。 Clara 真想不尽，Bonar怎能不被因自己的失误而一再袭来的各种 “灾难” 吓倒。 事实上，Bonar 吐露心声并要求 Clara 为他祈祷，因为根据他的说法，由于受到商业竞争对手的对待，他正在经历人生考验。 Bonar 头晕目眩，因为他没有积蓄，而他的孩子们必须继续满足他们的日常需求，尤其是他的妻子在生下他们的孩子后去世了，他成了单亲父亲。 Clara？ Clara也头晕了。 他的收入只够自己生活，只能留出一小部分为将来的储蓄。
Krisis lagi. Kali ini, bisnis Bonar bangkrut dan keuangan rumah tangganya kacau balau. Saat era baru lulus kuliah dulu, kejadian yang mirip juga pernah terjadi, tetapi rupanya kawannya yang satu ini tak kunjung belajar juga dari pengalaman. Clara tak habis pikir, bagaimana bisa Bonar belum jera juga dengan berbagai “bencana” yang bertubi-tubi melanda hidupnya akibat kesalahannya sendiri. Justru, Bonar curhat dan meminta Clara mendoakannya karena menurutnya dia sedang mengalami cobaan hidup akibat diperlakukan jahat oleh saingan bisnisnya. Bonar pusing karena tak punya tabungan, sementara kebutuhan hidup anaknya harus terus dipenuhi, apalagi dia seorang bapak tunggal setelah istrinya meninggal saat melahirkan anak mereka. Clara? Clara pun pusing; penghasilannya hanya cukup untuk kehidupannya sendiri dengan menyisihkan sebagian kecil untuk ditabung demi masa depan.
Reality bites. Bonar’s current financial situation was worrying to say the least. Jessica, Bonar’s daughter, has been behind with her school fees for months. Bonar and Jessica were close to eviction from their rented house, which apparently had not been paid for for two years, and the installments for Bonar’s car purchase had stopped since late last year. Clara was shocked… She has been close friends with Bonar since middle school, yet she did not expect that behind the comfortable life that Bonar often enjoys and flaunts, there have been dangerous financial habits. Bonar likes expensive and luxurious things, and he pursues those things even though his financial ability is often insufficient for that. Clara thought that at least there was some savings that Bonar regularly set aside for emergencies like this. Unfortunately, Bonar has already fallen into the habit of pursuing luxury even though he has to sacrifice his daughter’s and his own needs, which are more important. Consequently, this bankruptcy really hits hard. Bonar’s finances are now down and paralyzed.
事实上，Bonar目前的家庭财务状况非常堪忧。 Bonar 的女儿 Jessica 已经拖欠了几个月的学费。 Bonar 和 Jessica 面对要被赶出租来的房子，显然已经两年没有付租金了，Bonar 的购车分期付款从去年年底就停付了。 Clara 很惊讶…… 与Bonar从初中起就是挚友的她没想到，Bonar时常享受和标榜的舒适生活背后，隐藏着危险的财务习惯。 Bonar真的很喜欢昂贵和奢华的东西，尽管他的经济能力往往不足以做到这一点。 Clara认为，至少Bonar经常会为这样的紧急情况留出一些积蓄。 可惜的是，Bonar已经养成了追求奢侈的习惯，尽管他不得不牺牲自己的需要和孩子们更重要的需要。 结果，这一次波纳尔生意的破产，真的是来了个打击。 Bonar 和他唯一的孩子的生活必须继续，但 Bonar 的财务现在已陷入瘫痪。
Faktanya, situasi keuangan rumah tangga Bonar saat ini telanjur amat mencemaskan. Jessica, anak Bonar, sudah berbulan-bulan menunggak uang sekolah. Bonar dan Jessica terancam diusir dari rumah sewaan yang rupanya sudah dua tahun belum dibayar sewanya, dan cicilan pembelian mobil Bonar pun sudah terhenti sejak akhir tahun lalu. Clara heran… dia yang sejak masa SMP bersahabat dekat dengan Bonar tak menyangka bahwa di balik kenyamanan hidup yang kerap Bonar nikmati dan pamerkan itu ada kebiasaan keuangan yang berbahaya. Bonar memang suka hal-hal mahal dan mewah, padahal kemampuan keuangannya sering tidak mencukupi untuk itu. Clara mengira setidaknya ada tabungan yang Bonar rutin sisihkan untuk situasi darurat seperti ini. Sayangnya, Bonar telanjur terjerumus ke dalam tabiat mengejar kemewahan itu meski harus mengorbankan kebutuhannya dan kebutuhan anaknya yang lebih penting. Alhasil, kebangkrutan bisnis Bonar kali ini benar-benar memukul. Kehidupan Bonar dan anak tunggalnya harus terus berjalan, tetapi keuangan Bonar kini lumpuh.
That night, Clara’s eyes simply wouldn’t shut. Her brain was busy thinking about Bonar and Jessica’s situation. She knew full well that she didn’t have the financial ability to help, especially since Clara also supported the lives of her elderly parents on a regular basis. However, Bonar’s somber story over the phone earlier that afternoon stirred her heart with pity. Despite her limited financial means, Clara still has a heart, and deep inside that heart is her emotions. She was annoyed, even angry, with Bonar, who has been used to live his life with Jessica irresponsibly and unwisely. She did the math, then forced herself to transfer some money while mentally complaining that the assistance had made her reduce her own daily food allowance. Clara’s heart felt that she needed to pray specifically for Bonar to recover and get back on his feet, but her anger and her sense of sacrifice made her unwilling to pray. Finally, while trying to sleep, Clara prayed for Bonar amidst her lingering frustration and anger. What Clara was praying for was clear. Clara wanted Bonar to realize that it was his fault and he must repent. Clara wanted Bonar to come to his senses right then. Didn’t Bonar know that his financial behavior has been sinful? Doesn’t he know that Clara made sacrifices for him and his daughter? He should know that! Hah!
今晚，Clara的眼睛不困了。 他的大脑忙于思考Bonar和Jessica的情况。 他很清楚自己没有经济能力提供帮助，尤其是Clara 还经常养活她两个年迈的父母。 不过，今天下午Bonar的心腹电话，却让他心生怜惜。 尽管她的经济能力有限，但Clara有一颗心，内心深处有深情。 他对 Bonar 感到恼火，甚至生气，Bonar 习惯于不负责任地明智地管理自己与 Jessica 的生活。 算了一笔账，他一边强迫自己转账，一边抱怨这笔援助让他减少了自己每天的伙食费。 Clara的内心觉得她需要特别为Bonar的康复和重新站起来祈祷，但她的愤怒和她的牺牲感让她不愿意祈祷。 最后，在试图入睡时，Clara在沮丧和愤怒中为Bonar祈祷。Clara祈求的很清楚。 Clara想让Bonar意识到他有罪并且必须忏悔。 Clara 希望 Bonar 现在就醒悟过来。 Bonar 不知道他的财务本性是有罪的吗？ Bonar难道不知道Clara为自己和孩子做出了牺牲吗？ 他必须知道！ 哼！
Malam ini, mata Clara jadi tak terasa mengantuk. Otaknya sibuk memikirkan situasi Bonar dan Jessica. Dia tahu betul dirinya tak punya kemampuan keuangan untuk membantu, apalagi Clara juga rutin menopang kehidupan kedua orang tuanya yang sudah sepuh. Namun, curhat Bonar lewat telepon sore tadi membuat hatinya galau oleh rasa kasihan. Di samping keterbatasan kemampuan keuangannya itu, Clara punya hati, dan di dalam hatinya ada emosi. Dia kesal, bahkan marah, kepada Bonar yang terbiasa tak bertanggung jawab mengurus kehidupannya sendiri bersama Jessica dengan bijak. Setelah berhitung-hitung, dia pun memaksakan diri untuk mentransfer sejumlah uang sambil mengomel karena bantuan itu membuatnya mengurangi jatah uang makannya sendiri sehari-hari. Hati kecil Clara merasa dia perlu khusus mendoakan Bonar agar pulih dan bangkit kembali, tetapi kemarahannya dan rasa berkorbannya membuatnya tak rela berdoa. Akhirnya sambil berusaha tidur, Clara mendoakan Bonar di sela-sela rasa kesal dan marahnya. Yang Clara doakan jelas sekali. Clara ingin Bonar sadar bahwa dirinya bersalah dan harus insaf. Clara ingin Bonar sadar sekarang juga. Tak tahukah Bonar bahwa tabiat keuangannya itu berdosa? Tak tahukah Bonar bahwa Clara berkorban demi dirinya dan anaknya? Dia harus tahu! Huh!
Minutes passed, and Clara got tired of her thoughts and feelings. She then decided to switch her focus. She opened her Bible and began to read a few verses, “Also, when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; … so that they may be seen by men. … when you pray, go into your most private room, close the door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees [what is done] in secret will reward you.” Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:5-6 seemed to directly answer Clara’s emotional questions about Bonar. Bonar might not realize that he was a sinner, let alone know Clara’s sacrifice for him and for his daughter. Bonar didn’t even know that Clara was praying so emotionally for him. However, God, the Father of Clara and Bonar and Jessica, knows it all. He does know.
一分钟又一分钟过去了。 疲倦了自己的想法和感受，Clara决定改变她的焦点。 他打开圣经，开始读几节经文，“当你祈祷时，不要像假冒为善的人那样祈祷。 ……让人们看到他们。 ……如果你祈祷，进入你的房间，关上门，向你在秘密中的父亲祈祷。 然后你的父亲看到隐藏的东西会奖励你。 耶稣在马太福音 6:5-6 中的话似乎立即回答了克拉拉关于博纳的情感问题。 Bonar可能没有意识到他是一个罪人，也不知道Clara为他和他的孩子所做的牺牲。 Bonar 甚至不知道 Clara 如此激动地为他祈祷。 然而，上帝，Clara、Bonar和Jessica的父，知道这一切。 祂知道。
Menit demi menit berlalu. Lelah dengan pikiran dan perasaannya, Clara pun memutuskan untuk beralih fokus. Dia membuka Alkitabnya dan mulai membaca beberapa ayat, “Dan apabila kamu berdoa, janganlah berdoa seperti orang munafik. … supaya mereka dilihat orang. … jika engkau berdoa, masuklah ke dalam kamarmu, tutuplah pintu dan berdoalah kepada Bapamu yang ada di tempat tersembunyi. Maka Bapamu yang melihat yang tersembunyi akan membalasnya kepadamu.” Perkataan Yesus di Matius 6:5-6 itu seolah langsung menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan Clara yang emosional tentang Bonar. Bonar mungkin tak sadar dirinya berdosa, dan tak tahu pengorbanan Clara baginya dan bagi anaknya. Bonar pun tak tahu Clara berdoa dengan penuh emosi untuknya. Namun, Tuhan, Bapa atas Clara dan Bonar dan Jessica, tahu semuanya. Dia tahu.
Clara began to understand it: Bonar is a matter in the Father’s hands, and she is, too. The Father knows everything, and the Father never stops taking care of His children, one by one. When Bonar would finally come to his senses, whether Bonar was aware of Clara’s sacrifice, how Bonar would repent and change from his sinful habits, Bonar’s recovery process, are all in the Father’s hands. None of Clara’s business. What Clara needed to take care of before the Father was whether she was aware of the condition of her own heart, which was corrupted by emotional judgment, and how Clara herself would repent and change from her sins. It was never Clara’s right and authority to demand that the Father proves to Bonar her sacrifice and kindness… The heavenly Father loves each one of His children, and He was dealing with Clara’s heart as His child, in the midst of Bonar’s situation.
Clara开始明白：Bonar是属她父的事，她也是她父的事。 父知道这一切，父从不停止照顾祂的孩子们，一个接一个。 当Bonar 醒悟时，Bonar是否意识到Clara的牺牲，Bonar将如何悔改并改掉他的罪恶习惯，Bonar的康复过程，都是天父的事。 不关Clara s的事。 Clara s在天父面前的事是她是否意识到自己被情感和判断弄脏了的内心状况，以及Clara 如何悔改和改变她的罪。 Clara 没有权利和权力要求父证明 Bonar对。 Clara 的牺牲和仁慈……天父爱他的每一个孩子，在 Bonar 正在经历的情况中，祂正在处理 Clara 作为祂的孩子的心。
Clara mulai mengerti: Bonar adalah urusan Bapanya, dan dirinya pun adalah urusan Bapanya. Bapa tahu segalanya, dan Bapa tidak pernah berhenti mengurus anak-anak-Nya, satu per satu. Kapan Bonar insaf, apakah Bonar sadar akan pengorbanan Clara, bagaimana Bonar akan bertobat dan berubah dari kebiasaan dosanya, proses pemulihan Bonar, semuanya adalah urusan Bapa. Bukan urusan Clara. Urusan Clara di hadapan Bapa adalah apakah dia sadar akan kondisi hatinya yang kotor oleh emosi dan penghakiman, serta bagaimana Clara bertobat dan berubah dari dosanya itu. Bukan hak dan wewenang Clara untuk menuntut Bapa membuktikan kepada Bonar pengorbanan dan kebaikan Clara… Bapa Surgawi mengasihi setiap anak-Nya, dan Dia sedang berurusan dengan hati Clara sebagai anak-Nya, di tengah-tengah situasi yang sedang dialami Bonar.
In that spiritual understanding, a memory flashed in Clara’s heart. It was of the story of the prodigal son, which she had first heard dozens of years ago at Sunday school. Her fingers clicked on the Bible app on his phone, headed for Luke chapter 15.
就在那种浮现的内心感觉中，Clara s心中闪过浪子回头的故事，这是她几十年前在主日学时第一次听到的。 他的手指点击了手机上的圣经应用程序，前往路加福音第15章。
Dalam pengertian batin yang muncul itu, tebersit di hati Clara ingatan akan kisah anak yang hilang, yang pertama kali didengarnya puluhan tahun lalu saat di Sekolah Minggu. Jari-jarinya mengeklik aplikasi Alkitab di ponselnya, menuju Lukas pasal 15.
In the story of the prodigal son, Clara finds God’s explanation about Bonar. Bonar has indeed become a sinful child by demanding luxuries that are not yet his right, and then splurged on those luxuries. When misfortune strike, Bonar also collapsed and ran out of his resources. Then, Clara found the important point that God pointed out. At his lowest point, when he was wallowing in uncleanness and it became almost impossible to fulfill even the most basic necessities of life (the child in the story worked as a pig caretaker, an animal that is unclean according to the Torah, and was forced to beg for foods from the pig’s food), the prodigal son realized his sins and returned to his conscience. The son who had once been lost then came home to his Father, who had been waiting for him for a long time. Bonar too would come back to his senses and return to the Father. The Father is more than ready to welcome him and restore him, just like what He did with the prodigal son in the story. Faith rose in Clara’s heart. Bonar’s heart and life were in the hands of the Father. Bonar might be in a low phase in his life, maybe even will keep spiraling to the lowest point and will be completely exhausted, but God would definitely bring him to repentance and recovery. God was more than ready to restore Bonar when he returns to Him. Clara repented, she believed what God said. She didn’t want to be judging Bonar or forcing Bonar to understand her sacrifice or pushing Bonar to come to his senses in her own ways and timeframe. Clara chose to let Bonar be in God’s control. After all, God is his father.
在浪子的故事中，Clara找到了上帝对Bonar的解释。 Bonar 确实成为了一个有罪的孩子，他要求还不是他应得的奢侈品，然后在这些奢侈品上挥霍。 当不幸降临时，Bonar也崩溃并全完了。 然而，Clara抓住了上帝指出的重点。 在最低点，当他沉溺于不洁之中，甚至连最基本的生活必需品都几乎无法满足时（故事中的孩子是一名养猪人，根据律法，这是一种不洁的动物，被迫以猪食为食），浪子回头知罪。 曾经走失的儿子回到了等待他很久的父亲身边。 Bonar 也将皈依并返回父亲身边。 天父准备好迎接他并挽回他，就像故事中的浪子一样。 信心在克拉拉的心中升起。 Bonar 的心和生命都掌握在父亲的手中。 Bonar可能正处于人生的低谷期，甚至会继续跌到最低点，精疲力尽，但神会带他悔改归回。 当 Bonar 回来时，上帝准备好恢复 Bonar。 Clara悔改了，Clara相信。 他不想忙于评判博纳尔或强迫Bonar理解他的牺牲或强迫Bonar以他自己的方式在他自己的时间去恢复理智。 Clara选择让Bonar由神的掌控之中。 “毕竟，上帝是他的父。
Dalam kisah anak yang hilang itu, Clara menemukan penjelasan Tuhan tentang Bonar. Bonar memang telah menjadi anak yang berdosa dengan menuntut kemewahan yang belum menjadi haknya, lalu berfoya-foya dengan kemewahan itu. Saat kemalangan melanda, Bonar pun tumbang dan habis. Namun, Clara menangkap titik penting yang Tuhan tunjukkan. Pada titik terendahnya, saat dirinya bergelimang kenajisan dan kebutuhan hidup yang paling dasar pun menjadi nyaris mustahil untuk terpenuhi (anak di kisah itu bekerja sebagai pengurus babi, hewan yang Najis menurut Taurat, dan terpaksa meminta makan dari makanan babi itu), anak yang hilang itu insaf akan dosanya dan kembali ke hati nurani yang lurus. Anak yang pernah hilang itu lalu pulang kepada Bapa yang telah lama menantinya. Bonar pun akan insaf dan kembali kepada Bapa. Bapa siap menyambutnya dan memulihkannya, seperti kepada anak yang hilang di kisah itu. Terbit iman di hati Clara. Hati dan proses hidup Bonar ada di tangan Bapa. Bonar mungkin sedang berada di fase rendah dalam kehidupannya, bahkan mungkin akan terus turun sampai titik terendah dan akan benar-benar habis, tetapi Tuhan akan membawanya insaf dan kembali. Tuhan sudah siap memulihkan Bonar saat Bonar kembali. Clara bertobat, Clara percaya. Dia tidak mau sibuk menghakimi Bonar atau memaksa Bonar mengerti pengorbanannya atau menuntut Bonar sadar dengan caranya dan waktunya sendiri. Clara memilih untuk merelakan Bonar di dalam kendali Tuhan. ‘Toh, Tuhan adalah Bapanya.
That same night, Clara prayed again. This time she prayed silently, without the cloud of wants for Bonar to know her prayers and sacrifice. She brought all her requests and intercessory pleas for Bonar before their Heavenly Father. Clara believed Bonar was being held by Him and He has been working in him. Bonar was safe in his Father’s hands and Bonar would repent. Bonar would recover and rise again. According to Father’s plan, not according to Clara’s standards. Her heart learned something important and she obeyed then. As Jesus had taught, Clara prayed in secret without showing off herself, holding on to her faith in the Father’s promise.
同一天晚上，Clara再次祈祷。 这一次他默默地祈祷，不想让Bonar知道他的祈祷和牺牲。 他把他所有的请求和他为Bonar的代祷带到了天父面前。 Clara 相信 Bonar 被祂抓住并被祂处理。 Bonar安全了，Bonar会悔改的。 Bonar将恢复并再次崛起。 按照父的计划，而不是按照Clara的标准。 他的心正在学习并顺服。 正如耶稣所教导的那样，Clara在没有露面的情况下秘密祈祷，抓住父应许的信心。
Malam itu juga, Clara berdoa lagi. Kali ini dia berdoa dalam diam, tanpa keinginan untuk Bonar tahu doanya dan pengorbanannya. Dibawanya segala permohonannya dan syafaatnya bagi Bonar di hadapan Sang Bapa Surgawi. Clara percaya Bonar sedang dipegang-Nya dan diproses-Nya. Bonar aman dan Bonar akan insaf. Bonar akan pulih dan bangkit kembali. Sesuai rencana Bapa, bukan sesuai standar Clara. Hatinya belajar dan taat. Seperti yang Yesus ajarkan, Clara berdoa di tempat tersembunyi tanpa harus menunjukkan diri, berpegang pada iman akan janji Bapa itu.
